My letter to the donors family.

Ang, I have gone over the same questions and struggles about praying for organs for Luke. I never prayed someone would die so he could live. I did pray that if someone is going to die then may their death in some way help someone elst. I myself am a donor. My struggle became if Luke then someone else was not going to get organs that could save their life. Because he was given 3 organs: one heart and 2 lungs (considered 2 not one organ). 3 people were without. How does one put your head around that. I just prayed God direct those making the decision to be guided by Him. If he wouldn't have gotten them then I would have lived with that. (Like I had a choice). At any rate this is the letter I sent to the family. We never knew anything about who or the circumstances. We do feel that the person was on life support a few days because we look back and see when the ball started rolling. At the time we were clueless. I sat in the room and heard the helicopter bring injuried all the time.....wondering .....is this the day. I really believe I do know when the donor came in,,,,I just really had a heavy heart for this one time....God only knows.

Dear Family,
Please accept our apology for not writing sooner. It has taken a while to absorb all of the past several months. 
Please let me share my heart. Last year about April we began looking into  a heart, double lung transplant for our son, Luke. He was born with a heart defect and had two surgeries. He had one surgery at one week of age and the other at 18 months. At 18 months he was given zero chance to survive. Not only did he live, but he led a completely normal life in every way. He played basketball, softball, and roller bladed like every other child his age. He took medicine each day in the morning and had an annual cardiac visit. In November we noticed he was getting winded easily and had him checked. He had irreversible lung damage.  He began to get worse. Transplants became the only option. We had an evaluation appointment for the transplant at Stanford, however Luke became too ill to even be evaluated. He was hospitalized for two weeks and sent home with hospice to die within days. We have 10 children. Luke is the 7th. All the children and their family's came home to drive him home from the hospital and be with him as he passed from this life into glory. He, by God's Grace, got better and stronger daily. He was able to eat, walk and participate in activities. He didn't even need oxygen. He became well enough, in fact, to be accepted for the evaluation at Stanford and eventually be accepted and on the transplant list. Luke and I and his brother Seth, age 9 moved to Stanford to wait for a transplant while my husband, Jim, stayed with two of the other children.
We had been praying daily for your family and the donor. (That must sound so impersonal) We prayed that times spent together were cherished and your failth was being strengthened for the grief which was drawing nigh. My heart ached during these times. I'd cry some days. I couldn't stop what was to occur for you. Luke was ready to meet the Lord. He also wanted to live if there was a chance. He prayed with us for you. Then at the hospital it was awful. We waited and waited and Luke began to die before us again. The helicopters came in so many times a day. I always wondered if this was it. Each time I cringed. My heart broke. I didn't want anyone to die. Inside I knew some do and I couldnt stop that. Luke became worse with each passing day. The day before the transplant we prayed many times "Mercy Lord". Mercy to the donor's family and Mercy for Luke. When it came I was numb. While he was in surgery my heart was more burdened for your loss than Luke's gain. When surgery was over my heart soared. I was happy for Luke. As days went on, I often thought of your loss and prayed. I still do.
We got caught up with Luke's struggle. Infection began it's battle. Luke fought with all he had and lost the battle after one month and two days.
How could I ever write you....The donor organs may have seemed wasted to you. They were Not! He lived more days than he would have and touched many people in that month. His story was on the internet and thousands of people read of his progress each day and prayed for him and you.
I know first hand your loss as the sting of death has hit our hearts also. To lose someone you love hurts beyond compare. My prayer for you is peace in the pain and to find your hope in Jesus Christ if you are not already a believer.

Most Sincerely,

The night we got the call for the surgery

Luke had a really hard last few days. He was getting weaker and of course could no longer eat because his liver was so enlarged to say nothing of the huge size of his heart. There was no room for food. He asked for something and then couldnt eat but a bite. He loved food. He couldnt go to sleep and was very restless. I was certain in my mind that he would not make it through the night. I stayed with him while Dad went to the lounge to sleep in chair. Sometime really about 12 or 1 Luke finally went to sleep. A nurse came and told me I had a call at the nurses desk. I couldnt imagine who it could be. It was the surgeon. He asked if we wanted to give Luke the organs they had. I was in shock..I dont remember what I said exactly except I needed to tell my husband. I went into the dark room and over to the lounge chair and kneeled down and gentle work Dad. "They have organs for Luke". He was awake in a second. We hurried to his room where he was still sleeping. They had lots of prep. I asked not to wake him until necessary so he wouldnt be fearful. One of Lukes favorite young doctors came in and put in an IV. There were 2 female nurses there and one asked if he wanted to flush the line to be sure it was in right. He made it clear it was in like butter and didnt need a flush. (The women were impressed). Later after Luke woke up he said the line was hurting. With as many lines as he had had in his life I knew he was right. I told the nurse and she said it looked fine. I said if Luke said something was wrong then there was something wrong. She said she would have them change the line once they got into the OR. She said they needed that line for anestesia. Dad read some scripture with Luke and we prayed. Luke told us he was scared. (One of the cardiologists who did his initial screening had asked him if he was a fighter because this was a battle he wouldnt make if he wasnt a fighter. He had said he was. Now he said "What if Im not enough") My heart broke. I had always walked with him into the OR rooms, had him sit on my lap, sing to him, comfort him so he wasnt alone until they put him under. This time he had to go alone. I saw his fear and my heart broke. I wanted to call it off. I knew the alternative. I didnt know what God had in mind. He rolled into the OR and I told the nurse not to forget to change the IV. She assured my she wouldnt. I fell apart. Dad and I held each other and cried. We called everyone to tell him he was going to get the organs.
Jake said How does anyone do that...... I ask myself the same thing....now and at that time....
During the hours of surgery I knew he was in God's hands. My heart ached for the family of the donor. Someone was having a broken heart because my son was getting body parts. I spent much time praying for them.
When he was  back in the room I remember Josh saying "Do you realize that every piece of life support system they have is in this room.?" I think he was trying to tell us we didnt realize how serious this was. We knew.

It's been a while.....Luke's Day....

Eighth year....seems like yesterday. I have learned so much from that single day. I'll try to share something each year. Luke died in the morning and  I helped wash his body. We left very soon after we said our goodbyes. We cleared our locker out, got our kitchen items and packed the car. It seemed so strange saying goodbye to other families still in their struggle. I was leaving their world , my world......We went to the house we were renting and got all the stuff. Packed the car and had breakfast with the Rubins and said our bittersweet goodbyes. How strange how paths cross and God uses people to help other people. We could never repay them for all they did. I pray God will not forget one thing. We went to the phone store to discontinue our cell phone service. The lady was really perky...."Good Morning. How are you!" I couldnt believe how cold I was. "Not so well, My son just died". You know I didnt even care about the shock she must have felt. Later I have thought how cold that was and was sorry. We left and had to stop at Target on our way out of town to get nylons for the funeral. (No place to buy nylon within an hour from Hebron).  As I walked into the store I was in shock. I was like a zombie. I remember walking by people and I seemed to be transparent to them. I wanted to yell "my son just died" but no words came out and people just went about their lives.. mine had nged forever....That experience has made me realize that as we walk through life in our daily shopping etc. their are many people in the same or similar situations: loss of a loved one (parent, child, friend), perhaps they have been fired, run away, feel unloved, been beaten up physically or mentally by a spouse, been sexually abused, feel regretfull for actions, been diagnoised with a disease or cancer...this world is full of hurting people. They all look like you and me. I now try to really look at people and try to be tender to them in any way I can. Not perky but tender....This lesson has changed me forever.